The Green Eyed Middle Monster

Quite some time ago Umm Z gave me her lowdown on handling multiple children. I was having difficulty with a temperamental four year old, so Umm Z unveiled her wise wisdom through her comprehension of The Five Love Languages. If you have gone to the site, just know that it works for children too.

We seemed to be able to tame the bigger monster, eventhough on some days I feel she speaks all FIVE languages of love. She's the lime-light hoarder, the one who needs attention and praise, the little dictator, is always asking for new toys and books and loves squishing her way into hugs, especially when SHE needs them. But we did notice ONE Love Language.

Now the Middle Monster, who has always been the quiet, a little bit of a loner, mysterious thinking dude, is acting up. He's even biting. And he's such a little stranger that it's quite hard to decipher what his Love Language is. It started when the baby who does not want to sleep during the day, nor the night, started crawling, sitting and standing all at once. Now HE gets Yusuff's portion of attention without even talking yet.

Poor Middle Monster. It's hard enough being a little shorter than Tasneem and having to speak in ALL CAPS to drown out her constant banter and get his point across. I've tried spending more time with him - like sitting him down in a snuggle and reading a book, but he just wanders off to scribble on a wall or build a castle. Positive affirmations don't really make him tick. He would just rush off, embarrassed, and scribble on a wall or build a castle. Services? "I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF." Next... Gifts? Oh no no... mostly because I don't want anyone's Love Language to be Gifts. Touch? Maybe, but still not as touchy-feely as his sister.

Sigh, my easy little coconut head is a real tough cookie to crack. I recently told him that if he ever feels upset, he could always come to me for a hug. I was wondering if he felt I was holding the baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night, a little too much. Maybe he felt that as a big brother he had to deal with his troubles on his own. DH insists it's the sensitive child syndrome, and we just need to concentrate a little more on him.

Little coconut head was my easiest baby. Squished between a temperamental toddler and a baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night, his night wakings were simple, his meals were always happy and he never ever cried for the sake of crying. But now, he's biting.

I thought that he was a little jealous of the attention DH and I were giving the baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night, as Yusuff was the youngest for two whole years and nearly three months, but tonight I noticed something else too.

He is jealous of the attention the Idriss, (the baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night), gets from Tasneem. That was an interesting observation as I was trying to solat Maghrib without DH around. I asked Tasneem to quickly involve Yusuff in her usual game of "jump up and down until you fall on your head," so both of them jumped up and down until they fell on their heads to distract the baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night, while I prayed. Yusuff seemed a lot less fretful afterwards. His coconut head plays to his advantage in these type of circumstances.

Both monsters of them seemed to wind down a lot quicker when it was time to settle down for the night. But the baby who does not sleep during the day nor the night, as usual, refused to pipe down even in pitch darkness. He was rolling around, getting his little mits into our eyes and tugging on ears. He was climbing all over Tasneem and pulling her hair.

Finally it was the Middle Monster called foul. "Put Idriss in your room, Mama. He's too noisy and we want to sleep." His ALL CAPS were really drowsy, so I asked him twice if he could fall asleep without me. He said he could. And I knew he could, because he had Tasneem all to himself once again. I guess I never noticed that not only would my easy coconut head become the Middle Monster of the family but he would also lose his bigger sister's attention by half.

It was only the two of them for so long, that he probably realised he LOVED her being around him without the baby who does not sleep during the day, nor the night. For the first time too, the Middle Monster fell asleep without me or DH by his side. He just needed his sister - what language of love could that possibly be?