I want an iPHONE

I think all mothers deserve an iPhone the moment they give birth. Yeah, you heard me right. I don't need three iPhones, but I could do with one. Imagine the doctor / nurse / midwife / husband saying: "Here's your baby ma'am / dear... and... here is your iPHONE - what casing would you like to go with that? Blue? That would really bring out the colour of the umblical cord. Nice choice ma'am / dear." Would that not make birth all that more exhilirating?

As a mother, you are already giving up half your life. And don't get me wrong, it is worth every bit of the sacrifice but an iPhone would make just that bit of a difference. Of course other mothers would beg to differ, and rather have an extra arm and hand with every baby who comes along. That makes sense too - which hand would actually hold the iPhone if there is already a baby in the way?

But no, I like my two arms, two hands, eight fingers and two thumbs very much, praise to Allah - an iPhone would suffice. It would look alot more prettier too (a pink or an orange one) rather than an extra arm. At least I wouldn't need to tailor-fit clothes, I would just remember to invest in more combat trousers - the ones with the extra pockets all over the place. Slip it in a pocket, and it's gone.

Really. And I wouldn't need one with each child - I would just need one. Well, until that child grows up and claims ownership over it, since it matched his or her umblical cord. Then, I would need another one but only one at a time.

And why not? I could actually multi-task without too much distraction, and which mother is alien to multitasking. (That is a reminder to self, never to multitask while trying to prepare half-boiled eggs). But that actually drives my point home. If I had an iPhone, it would have ensured those eggs were boiled to the right half rather than have them plonk into the pink bowl I was garnishing for my kid.

I could read an e-book, learn a new sura, play some relaxing Tchaikovsky, call someone, check in on facebook, I could GOOGLE in silence, without someone asking me for Dora Games or Blue's Clues - and I could actually do that without moving too much, thus keeping the bub well within sight. It would make life easier in other ways too. Like our Singapore trip I have been babbling about? Look what I had to make as a wholesome guide - it has a schedule, a budgeting plan, an MRT map, all the details of our destinations and I have even colour coded everything.

Gee, if I had an iPhone, it would do all of that for me. Cutting and gluing all those pieces of paper together was really strenuous as compared to a tap-tap-tap of a multi-tasking phone. If I had one, I wouldn't be lugging a piece of folded artblock around the island, folding it and folding it through until it rips in the middle. Not to mention, now I have to manually calculate my expenses, which is going to drill holes in the piece of paper as well as our budget. Sigh, I hear the tap-tap-tap tapping further away into the distance.

Yes, you're telling me an iPhone is expensive and that is why I just WANT one, and I'm not going to actually buy one. But if someone wants to give me one - you can just let me know. Preferably I will not have to have another baby before I can actually acquire one of those pretty life-savers. Who am I kidding? If I get one for myself, I'll need another two for my monsters. Yeah, balk all you want, but they are really tech-savvy and would do far better in meddling with that gadget than me. So that is why, they really ought to come with an iPHONE each, right after birth.